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MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE

Finding Happiness – How to Find it & Sustain it the Elegant Way

Did you know that there are over 62,000 books written on “finding happiness”?

This shows that there millions of people searching for fulfilment and happiness.

In fact, did you know that Dubai has created a Minister of Happiness position?

Yes! Finding happiness is a major focus right now and I LOVE this! However, I want you to know what Women Who Live Elegantly know.

I want you to know how Women Who Live Elegantly define and experience happiness, as well as sustain it.

Curious? Read on and/or watch the video above.

Finding Happiness & Sustaining Happiness

The dictionary defines happiness as:

a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

A Woman Who Lives Elegantly’s definition of happiness is:

the state of contentment, fulfilment & joy that I experience as a result of doing, being and enjoying what my soul desires.

Notice that happiness from a Woman Who Live Elegantly’s point of view is a state that she is directly capable of creating in her life.

Now, in order to create this state, she must do three things…

Step 1:

Spend time getting to know herself.

Step 2:

Spend time listening to her soul.

Step 3:

Give herself permission to do, be and enjoy what her soul says it desires.

Let’s look at each of these in more depth now.

Spend Time Getting to Know Yourself

I can remember many times in my life that I have admired a woman because she seemed to really KNOW herself.

She really knew her style, she really knew what she loved to do for enjoyment, she knew her taste in music and home decor, she had some signature dishes she loved to cook…she just had that “Je ne sais quoi”.

Now, when I say that I admired the women, I actually meant that I envied them. I didn’t know what they knew and it made me so depressed and was left feeling empty, plain, boring, uninteresting, lost…you get the picture.

One day, in my early 20’s I asked an older friend, who definitely KNEW her style and likes, etc. (she oozed “Je ne sais quoi”!), “How did you find your style? How do you KNOW what you like in life? Her answer was, “I don’t know, I just do.”

Ugh, that was a depressing answer. I wanted so much to have an air about me, an essence, a knowingness of who I was, but no one could guide me!

If you feel this way right now…maybe not as desperately as my 20 year old self, but subtly enough that your soul is resonating with what I’m saying here, then I would invite you to purchase the book, “Style Statement” by Danielle LaPorte and Carrie McCarthy.

It was such a beautiful experience to explore myself the way in which this book guides you to! I really cannot recommend it enough.

It takes you into every crevice of who you are. Watch the video above to see inside MY book!

Spend Time Listening to Your Soul

You will hear me saying this over and over again and I will never stop because it is the KEY to your happiness…Ask your soul what it desires and listen!

“What do you feel like eating for breakfast this morning, soul?”

“How do you feel like moving today, soul?”

“What do you want to wear today, soul?”

When a woman listens to her soul she receives the most intimate guidance on how to be happy & fulfilled each and every day.

There will be no pushing to be happy, no “trying” to be happy, no effort in “finding happiness”, it will simply be her state, and a sustainable one.

Give Yourself Permission to Do, Be & Enjoy What Your Soul Desires

So, you know yourself intimately and you listen to your soul, but…you don’t ALLOW yourself to DO, BE or ENJOY what your soul desires.

THIS is an epidemic with women.

We women can always come up with a reason why we shouldn’t do, have, be or enjoy something.

There can ALWAYS be a reason, however, the moment we give ourselves permission to go ahead with whatever our soul has said it desires, we will feel exquisite happiness and joy!

finding happiness

Examples:

Let’s say your soul really desires a molten dark chocolate dessert. Will you give yourself permission to eat it with pleasure or will you think about the calories it has and how much exercise you’ll “have to do” to burn it off?

Let’s say your hubby comes to you to make love and you say out of stress, “I don’t have time”. Did you ask your SOUL what it desires? Sometimes it may say that a tidy house or a completed task is what it desires, but sometimes it will say, “How wonderful it would feel to connect with him like this!” What will you do?

Let’s say you look in the closet and see nothing that inspires you. Will you schedule in a day where you go shopping at your favourite shop or will you say, “Oh, but the kids need things more than I do”?

Let’s say your soul desires to enjoy dinner at a certain restaurant and your husband never wants to go out. Will you stay in night after night after night, with sadness and resentment building, or will you figure out a way to go on your own by booking a table for one or inviting a friend along?

Let’s say your soul desires to work with a particular coach or mentor or to purchase a course, but your ego comes in with, “You can’t do that, you don’t have enough money or time for that!” Will you listen to your soul or your ego?

Which would bring you more happiness & fulfilment do you think?

finding happiness

I could go on and on as the number of times in a day that women hear the whispers of their soul but quickly shut it down, is countless.

And THIS is where unhappiness and unfulfillment come from.

There is no joy.

There is no pleasure.

There is no fulfilment of the soul.

We carry on living our life in “responsibility” and resentment and then buy 62,000 books on, “How to be Happy.”

The answers are within us…specific answers for us alone! We just have to listen and give ourselves permission to Do, Be, and Enjoy what it asks us to.

Are you ready to experience sustainable happiness? Remember what Women Who Live Elegantly do…they make a choice. What’s your choice?

I’d love to know if you resonate with anything I’ve written here. Do you consistently resist allowing yourself to do something you know your soul keeps asking you to do?

Do you have a feeling like perhaps you don’t deserve to be happy?

With so much love,

signatt

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MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE

Valentine’s Day Ideas – How to Celebrate Like an Elegant Woman

Looking for some fabulous Valentine’s Day ideas? Well, as you know already, we do things a bit differently here at The Elegant Life:)

As Elegant women, we always check in with ourselves first.

And when we do this, we have a knowingness of what our soul desires and how it would like to ENJOY Valentines Day.

Now, I’ve always had a dilemma because j’adore themed holidays! I think it’s the teacher in me:) So, to go out for dinner and be served everything in heart shapes would thrill me to no end…the problem is, my husband doesn’t feel the same way.

He resists holidays like Valentine’s Day because he dislikes the commercialism of it. He prefers to be loving and generous to me all year round (okay, and to not have to pay triple the amount for a meal and flowers).

This used to really hurt me. And the hurt often turned to resentment….“You know I love it, so why can’t you just do it for me?”

However, as you realised from last week’s post on How to Elegantly Set Boundaries, we as Elegant women must know what we require and then decide what we will do if the other person does not give us what we need.

WE are responsible for our own happiness.

So, here’s what I decided to do, since he wouldn’t budge:

a) I became clear on what I actually LOVE about Valentines Day. You know me by now:) Yes, I love the fact that it’s all about LOVE.

b) I also love how you can easily have a themed evening around it.

c) I also love showing people how much I love them.

d) I love sharing the excitement of a holiday with my kids – they’re exactly like me:) YEAH!

So, for the past 5 years I have been creating a themed Valentines Day dinner, at home with my family, that I love so much. Yep, heart shaped lights, heart shaped pizzas, heart shaped cakes and decorations, and a LOVE HUNT where my kiddies follow clues that are all based around ways we love each other.

And while I do this, my heart is filled with LOVE, my kiddies hearts are filled with LOVE and my hubby stares at me from a distance with a loving gaze and says, “I love you. The way you get excited about all this is so amazing, so YOU. How lucky our kids are to have you as their mummy.”

And all is well in my world on Valentine’s Day.

If I didn’t do this and my hubby surprised me with a dinner out one year (which I still would love to happen at least once, but there’s zero attachment to it) I would actually miss this little tradition I’ve created.

So, let me ask you a few questions:

If you had to plan your own personal Valentine’s Day,

What would you eat?
What would you do?
What kind of woman would you BE on this day?
What gift would you love to receive?

I invite you to create your own special evening, and if you choose to invite someone to share it with you, that’s YOUR choice.

If I didn’t have a partner and children, or for some reason if I was alone on this day I would:

Buy some Processco and luxury dark chocolates for myself.
Treat myself to a warm aromatherapy bubble bath.
Go online and purchase myself something special from Charlotte Tilbury, NEOM, or Elemis.
Spend a bit of time planning the next “Girls Getaway” with my friends, Sandrine & Laura (this year it’s Italy!)
Watch a movie that my soul desires to watch.

BLISS! Magnifique!

I would FULLY be able to enjoy this day because of the amount of Self-Love I have for myself. I don’t need anyone to “make” me happy, I know how to do that all by myself. And with this energy emanating from me, who knows what I’ll experience or bring into my life?

I’d be curious to hear how you are celebrating (or not) this Valentine’s Day! Are you like me and LOVE the whole theme of love hearts? Or do you prefer to cook a simple dinner for two and watch a movie together? Or, do you go all out, with dinner, hotel and presents?

Please share it in the comments below!

Next week I’ll be sharing yet another way to increase your self-love, so I’ll see you back here soon!

Joyeuse Saint Valentin! xo

signatt

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ELEGANT BEAUTY, MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE

How To Be Woman Who Lives Elegantly in 6 Simple Steps

Being a Woman Who Lives Elegantly would have been so foreign to me in my 30’s. Sure, I had a lot of my stuff together. I had a consistent spiritual practise that aligned me every day and I finally had my signature style figured out, but I only TRULY felt like a Woman Who Lives Elegantly after I turned 40 and experienced quite a tough year personally.

I had gone through a few rough years of moving countries, renovating a home with a newborn, moving again to another country after finally finishing our nightmare of a renovation, starting an online business, experiencing 2 miscarriages and then bad post natal depression.

During my depression, after I had my daughter, I looked back over the past years and thought, yes, well, it’s understandable that I am depressed! Look at everything I’ve had to go through!

But… when I took a good look at my life I realised that my soul felt empty and THAT was the reason I felt so depressed. It was time for me to begin cultivating my life instead of just reacting to it.

How can YOU cultivate a BEAUTIFUL LIFE for yourself? Here are 6 Simple Steps!

Step 1

The first step to cultivating yourself as a Woman Who Lives Elegantly is to know what it is you want to cultivate.

Ask yourself,

“What are my values?”

What is MY definition of success in life?”

“What are my priorities?”

Once you know this you can start making conscious decisions around them.

Way back when, I realised that I was working way too many hours. I lived in England, and because most of my online clients were in North America I was having all of my coaching calls during the evenings. Once I honoured my value of FAMILY, I adjusted my working hours so that my clients had to be more flexible and meet with me during English daytime hours.

I also set an intention to get more clients in the UK. With more UK clients and with my overseas clients being more flexible, I was able to stop working at night all together. Pure elegant living:)

Step 2

Get to KNOW yourself. Once you know who you are…intimately, you can begin to appreciate and admit who you are.

When you admit and accept who you are, and those qualities serve your highest good, then you give yourself permission to be who you are, without hiding or dimming any part of you.

This is SO freeing! I used to feel bad that I liked staying IN more than going OUT. I also wondered if I was anti-social since I needed days of solitude in order to feel happy. Yes, without my kids or hubby around, not to mention friends or clients. Was this NORMAL?

When I accepted this aspect of myself I realised that it greatly served me in connecting deeply with the Divine and doing my job well. I also consistently experienced inner peace and alignment…things most people were searching aimlessly for, AND my clients received DIVINE coaching from me.

So, what aspect (s) of yourself have you not accepted? Start to LOVE and appreciate them as it was God, the Divine who made you this way!

Step 3

Turn inwards and ask your soul what it requires.

When I began asking my soul what it wanted for breakfast, I always felt satisfied and full of energy. When I asked myself, “How do you want to feel today?”, when getting dressed, I always felt beautiful…even if I was in jeans and a nice T-Shirt.

It’s SO important to begin connecting with your soul so that you don’t have to ask 20 people or an “expert” what you should do, eat or wear.

Begin to ask your soul questions like:

a) “Does this feel right to me?

b) “Does this person add to my life or take away from it?”

c) “Does this food make me feel good after eating it?”

Lead from THIS place. Gradually, elegantly, you will learn to trust yourself and really ENJOY the relationship you have with your beautiful soul.

Step 4

Cultivate LOVE. Ask yourself how you can spread love towards yourself and others. Can you give yourself or someone a smile, a note, a thought, fresh flowers, an email, a text, a bath with epsom salts, a manicure?

A Woman Who Lives Elegantly GLOWS of love and light. Why? Because she aligns with it everyday and makes a choice to gift it to herself and other people regularly.

Step 5

Elegantly nourish your Body. I love food. I get excited by it and even read cookbooks in bed with glee! Eating well (mostly plant-based) gifts you clarity, energy, health, vitality and an elegant body without even “trying”. This is a Woman Who Lives Elegantly’s secret to looking and feeling beautiful.

Some of my favourite cookbooks are: Deliciously Ella Everyday, Livia’s Kitchen, Get the Glow

Step 6

Create pleasurable everyday rituals. A Woman Who Lives Elegantly knows what she loves and what gives her pleasure, and creates small rituals for herself. Cooking to Jazz music is a favourite ritual of mine, as is applying luxurious creams like Elemis Frangipani Body Cream to my body after a shower.

Do you have a nightly bath? A twice weekly mask? A monthly manicure? A gorgeous morning and evening daily ritual where you connect with your soul?

A Woman Who Lives Elegantly don’t just exist, she commits to cultivating herself and her life.

elegant woman

If you are too busy to enjoy a bath, a mask, a cup of tea or making love, you haven’t created a life, you are just existing. Creating daily rituals helps you cultivate a luxurious, rich life now, today, and everyday, and Women Who Live Elegantly know this.

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ELEGANT TRAVEL, THE MAKING OF A SPIRITUAL WOMAN

The Making of a Spiritual Woman: Video #14 (Speaking French Mishaps!)

Ahhh…so much to share!

I’m here in my bedroom and missing home, my family and Tony.

This is real.

The family is very nice. I think the boys really like me as they hang around me, tell me all sorts of stories and beg to sit by me at the dinner table.

Today, we went for a long walk in the countryside then came home and had an aperitif with Jean Do and Maelle – nice tradition!

The boys joined us and had juice in special cups and then we had a lighter meal of steamed broccoli with almond sauce.

And, they always have a cheese plate and baguette after dinner. Another nice tradition!

I’ve been reading The Art of Happiness and Seven Years in Tibet that Tony gave me and I’m feeling such a peace inside. I don’t know why!

Why am I feeling so connected to this?

Perhaps this year will give me the time and space to develop my spirituality more – something I have been desiring since I took that meditating course at University.

Tomorrow Maelle is going to take me to the school to meet with the principal and then to my own language class.

Gosh, when you actually live in a country they speak the language SO quickly. I am really finding it difficult speaking french and understanding people. I’m feeling so dumb! Plus it’s leading to so many miscommunications…

The other day, Maelle got really angry with me.

The boys were home with me, as kids don’t go to school on Wednesdays, and after lunch, Maelle came home. She asked one of the boys if they had had breakfast and he said no. She turned to me and asked why and I said that when I asked him he said, “Pas Encore” so I thought he didn’t want any thing else.

Turns out, “Pas Encore” also means “Not Yet!” How have I never known this??? I have only heard it used as “Not again”.

Then I was helping her with dishes and she saw an empty milk bottle and says, “Francois-Clement didn’t have his bottle?”

I replied, “Non”, wondering what she was talking about as this was the first I was hearing of any bottle giving.

She was fuming!

I said, “He has a bottle every morning?”

“Oui, une bouteille de lait chaud!” (A bottle of warm milk)

“Okay” (A 4 year old???? Who ever heard of giving a 4 year old a bottle!! I was to hold him in my arms and feed it to him. What???).

I became silent and wanted to pack my things and go home. I’m a professional who’s been married and through a recent divorce! I don’t need this!”

I went to my room and and read A LOT of my book “Seven Years in Tibet”. It makes me feel good inside so I calmed down and gained perspective.

The boys came to get me for dinner and I decided to be the bigger person and try to make conversation.

Slowly, everyone opened up and we had a nice time.

I think I will decorate my room and try to make it feel like ME. I will hang up my photos and pictures and add some candles. That should make me feel better.

I’m really looking forward to going to Language school tomorrow so I can meet people and learn words and phrases that I never knew existed!

Join me HERE when I meet not 1 but 2 friends and learn a lesson that I live by to this very day. (In fact it’s one of the main things I teach in The Art of Living Elegantly).

Have you ever moved or lived in a different country? Have you experienced similar language barrier issues? I’d love to hear about them in the comment section below!

With so much love,

Erin Kurt

ELEGANT TRAVEL, MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE, THE MAKING OF A SPIRITUAL WOMAN

The Making of a Spiritual Woman: Video #13 (Arriving in PARIS!!!)

Dear Diary,

Well, here I am, on the airplane travelling to Paris. This almost feels like a dream, like I’m not REALLY experiencing this.

Yet, at the same time, I feel SO ultimately ready for this that I’m quite calm inside.

I think my leaving was a huge eye opener for people around me. It made them think about the purpose of life and going for your dreams.

I have such a heightened comfort with myself right now. In fact, I am remembering when I used to travel on planes with David.

I would look around at people travelling alone and feel sorry for them that they had no one to talk to…and yet, I secretly envied them. How were they able to travel all by themself?

And now, look at me!!! I am totally content being by myself! No pressures, just able to do what I want when I want!

I am in LOVE with this feeling of comfort and security.

Only 4 more hours until Paris!!! Wow…
_____________________________________

Dear Diary,

I’m here!!!! I’m in Paris!

Yikes!

All their phones need cards – no change! So I had to figure that out.

Then I had to figure a way to use la toilette while lugging my 2 HUGE suitcases. The toilet paper is dark pink!

I got my period – the timing! Thank God I had something in my purse!

I am starting to feel tired but I have to try and stay awake until I catch the TGV to go to Nantes.

My CD player stopped working which isn’t nice as that would have kept me awake.

Oh well, maybe I’ll get to see a lot of the countryside.

__________________________________
Dear Diary,

Okay, I should be in Nantes, but I’m not! I’m still in Paris!

I have just survived an incredible ordeal. I REALLY need to sleep now and I just want to cry to let out my frustration!

Everything was going well while I was waiting for my train. I didn’t see it arrive, even after the scheduled time, so I asked someone to watch my baggage (NOT SMART!) and ran up to ask someone what happened.

The ticket lady said the train had already left. Oh My God!!!

Now I had to take buses with my 2 heavy as hell bags and buy a new ticket.

I put the ticket in the passway and while pushing my first huge suitcase through the barrier locked! It wouldn’t let me or my second suitcase pass through!

My back is aching and I’m exhausted beyond belief so I thought, “Screw it!” and decided to take a taxi.

Well…. the cab drivers dusted off my seat and were SO nice to me and I’m thinking, “Paris is so great!”

The cab driver starts asking me if I want to see the Eiffel Tower and La Louvre because it’s so close to where I need to go.

I say sure but then I see the meter running FAST! It’s now up to 172 francs!

So I tell him to just go to the station as I don’t have much money.

He keeps talking and driving, showing me the Paris tunnel where Princess Diana died, La Seine, etc. etc. and now the meter is 240 francs!

I am frieking out inside so I tell him, “I only have 270 francs so please just go to the station.”

He got really angry and scoffed, “I should just drop you off here!”

I say I’m sorry and we don’t talk the rest of the way.

We finally arrived at the station and somehow I got my bags in an elevator, not knowing where I was going. Suddenly the doors opened and a girl stood in front of me and said, “Do you need help?”

I believe she was an angel sent from up above. There was just such an angelic energy in the air.

I felt like weeping at her feet I was so grateful! She took me exactly where I needed to be and was gone as quickly as she appeared.

Lord, please let me sleep soon, this is enough…

Au revoir.

Join me HERE where I share my first days in France and the very unexpected things that occurred.

Have YOU ever travelled or moved to another country? What were your first experiences? Any funny, odd, or angelic experiences such as mine? I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!

Or, perhaps you’ve always wanted to but are nervous. Let me know as I can give you some great pointers that will save you from having to experience what I did – LOL!

A bientôt!