Welcome to your BONUS video! This video describes in depth the first step in completely shifting your relationship with what to eat so that you elegantly lose weight.
I do my best teaching when I talk, so I will let you watch the video to find out all you need to know about how to choose the right foods to eat…for YOU personally.
You can throw out the diet books, the point guides, the calories counting apps and just follow my advice on how to lose weight elegantly.
You may have heard of intuitive eating, but this goes far deeper than that.
We go spiritual here. As with everything on The Elegant Life, we come back HOME to find our answers.
Elegant Women make a choice about how they desire their bodies to look and feel and always return HOME to receive the guidance on exactly what to eat and when.
Weight loss has never been so beautiful. So, ENJOY and practise what I teach for 1 whole week, okay?
Just doing this 1 thing will have a massive impact on your relationship with food and your body and soul. It’s what Elegant Women do.
Let me know if you have any questions in the comments below. Or, if you have any A Ha! moments during the week let me know as well! I LOVE hearing from you and I will be your biggest cheerleader.
Yes! Finding happiness is a major focus right now and I LOVE this! However, I want you to know what Women Who Live Elegantly know.
I want you to know how Women Who Live Elegantly define and experience happiness, as well as sustain it.
Curious? Read on and/or watch the video above.
Finding Happiness & Sustaining Happiness
The dictionary defines happiness as:
a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.
A Woman Who Lives Elegantly’s definition of happiness is:
the state of contentment, fulfilment & joy that I experience as a result of doing, being and enjoying what my soul desires.
Notice that happiness from a Woman Who Live Elegantly’s point of view is a state that she is directly capable of creating in her life.
Now, in order to create this state, she must do three things…
Step 1:
Spend time getting to know herself.
Step 2:
Spend time listening to her soul.
Step 3:
Give herself permission to do, be and enjoy what her soul says it desires.
Let’s look at each of these in more depth now.
Spend Time Getting to Know Yourself
I can remember many times in my life that I have admired a woman because she seemed to really KNOW herself.
She really knew her style, she really knew what she loved to do for enjoyment, she knew her taste in music and home decor, she had some signature dishes she loved to cook…she just had that “Je ne sais quoi”.
Now, when I say that I admired the women, I actually meant that I envied them. I didn’t know what they knew and it made me so depressed and was left feeling empty, plain, boring, uninteresting, lost…you get the picture.
One day, in my early 20’s I asked an older friend, who definitely KNEW her style and likes, etc. (she oozed “Je ne sais quoi”!), “How did you find your style? How do you KNOW what you like in life? Her answer was, “I don’t know, I just do.”
Ugh, that was a depressing answer. I wanted so much to have an air about me, an essence, a knowingness of who I was, but no one could guide me!
If you feel this way right now…maybe not as desperately as my 20 year old self, but subtly enough that your soul is resonating with what I’m saying here, then I would invite you to purchase the book, “Style Statement” by Danielle LaPorte and Carrie McCarthy.
It was such a beautiful experience to explore myself the way in which this book guides you to! I really cannot recommend it enough.
It takes you into every crevice of who you are. Watch the video above to see inside MY book!
Spend Time Listening to Your Soul
You will hear me saying this over and over again and I will never stop because it is the KEY to your happiness…Ask your soul what it desires and listen!
When a woman listens to her soul she receives the most intimate guidance on how to be happy & fulfilled each and every day.
There will be no pushing to be happy, no “trying” to be happy, no effort in “finding happiness”, it will simply be her state, and a sustainable one.
Give Yourself Permission to Do, Be & Enjoy What Your Soul Desires
So, you know yourself intimately and you listen to your soul, but…you don’t ALLOW yourself to DO, BE or ENJOY what your soul desires.
THIS is an epidemic with women.
We women can always come up with a reason why we shouldn’t do, have, be or enjoy something.
There can ALWAYS be a reason, however, the moment we give ourselves permission to go ahead with whatever our soul has said it desires, we will feel exquisite happiness and joy!
Examples:
Let’s say your soul really desires a molten dark chocolate dessert. Will you give yourself permission to eat it with pleasure or will you think about the calories it has and how much exercise you’ll “have to do” to burn it off?
Let’s say your hubby comes to you to make love and you say out of stress, “I don’t have time”. Did you ask your SOUL what it desires? Sometimes it may say that a tidy house or a completed task is what it desires, but sometimes it will say, “How wonderful it would feel to connect with him like this!” What will you do?
Let’s say you look in the closet and see nothing that inspires you. Will you schedule in a day where you go shopping at your favourite shop or will you say, “Oh, but the kids need things more than I do”?
Let’s say your soul desires to enjoy dinner at a certain restaurant and your husband never wants to go out. Will you stay in night after night after night, with sadness and resentment building, or will you figure out a way to go on your own by booking a table for one or inviting a friend along?
Let’s say your soul desires to work with a particular coach or mentor or to purchase a course, but your ego comes in with, “You can’t do that, you don’t have enough money or time for that!” Will you listen to your soul or your ego?
Which would bring you more happiness & fulfilment do you think?
I could go on and on as the number of times in a day that women hear the whispers of their soul but quickly shut it down, is countless.
And THIS is where unhappiness and unfulfillment come from.
There is no joy.
There is no pleasure.
There is no fulfilment of the soul.
We carry on living our life in “responsibility” and resentment and then buy 62,000 books on, “How to be Happy.”
The answers are within us…specific answers for us alone! We just have to listen and give ourselves permission to Do, Be, and Enjoy what it asks us to.
Are you ready to experience sustainable happiness? Remember what Women Who Live Elegantly do…they make a choice. What’s your choice?
I’d love to know if you resonate with anything I’ve written here. Do you consistently resist allowing yourself to do something you know your soul keeps asking you to do?
Do you have a feeling like perhaps you don’t deserve to be happy?
Looking for some fabulous Valentine’s Day ideas? Well, as you know already, we do things a bit differently here at The Elegant Life:)
As Elegant women, we always check in with ourselves first.
And when we do this, we have a knowingness of what our soul desires and how it would like to ENJOY Valentines Day.
Now, I’ve always had a dilemma because j’adore themed holidays! I think it’s the teacher in me:) So, to go out for dinner and be served everything in heart shapes would thrill me to no end…the problem is, my husband doesn’t feel the same way.
He resists holidays like Valentine’s Day because he dislikes the commercialism of it. He prefers to be loving and generous to me all year round (okay, and to not have to pay triple the amount for a meal and flowers).
This used to really hurt me. And the hurt often turned to resentment….“You know I love it, so why can’t you just do it for me?”
However, as you realised fromlast week’s post on How to Elegantly Set Boundaries, we as Elegant women must know what we require and then decide what we will do if the other person does not give us what we need.
WE are responsible for our own happiness.
So, here’s what I decided to do, since he wouldn’t budge:
a) I became clear on what I actually LOVE about Valentines Day. You know me by now:) Yes, I love the fact that it’s all about LOVE.
b) I also love how you can easily have a themed evening around it.
c) I also love showing people how much I love them.
d) I love sharing the excitement of a holiday with my kids – they’re exactly like me:) YEAH!
So, for the past 5 years I have been creating a themed Valentines Day dinner, at home with my family, that I love so much. Yep, heart shaped lights, heart shaped pizzas, heart shaped cakes and decorations, and a LOVE HUNT where my kiddies follow clues that are all based around ways we love each other.
And while I do this, my heart is filled with LOVE, my kiddies hearts are filled with LOVE and my hubby stares at me from a distance with a loving gaze and says, “I love you. The way you get excited about all this is so amazing, so YOU. How lucky our kids are to have you as their mummy.”
And all is well in my world on Valentine’s Day.
If I didn’t do this and my hubby surprised me with a dinner out one year (which I still would love to happen at least once, but there’s zero attachment to it) I would actually miss this little tradition I’ve created.
So, let me ask you a few questions:
If you had to plan your own personal Valentine’s Day,
What would you eat?
What would you do?
What kind of woman would you BE on this day?
What gift would you love to receive?
I invite you to create your own special evening, and if you choose to invite someone to share it with you, that’s YOUR choice.
If I didn’t have a partner and children, or for some reason if I was alone on this day I would:
Buy some Processco and luxury dark chocolates for myself.
Spend a bit of time planning the next “Girls Getaway” with my friends, Sandrine & Laura (this year it’s Italy!)
Watch a movie that my soul desires to watch.
BLISS! Magnifique!
I would FULLY be able to enjoy this day because of the amount of Self-Love I have for myself. I don’t need anyone to “make” me happy, I know how to do that all by myself. And with this energy emanating from me, who knows what I’ll experience or bring into my life?
I’d be curious to hear how you are celebrating (or not) this Valentine’s Day! Are you like me and LOVE the whole theme of love hearts? Or do you prefer to cook a simple dinner for two and watch a movie together? Or, do you go all out, with dinner, hotel and presents?
Please share it in the comments below!
Next week I’ll be sharing yet another way to increase your self-love, so I’ll see you back here soon!
I’ve met a friend!!! Oh, thank the Universe! In my language class is a 25 year old Mexican girl named Sandra. She laughs like me and we have SO MUCH in common!!!
We went out to dinner and talked for hours and hours, sharing intimate details of our lives. It’s like we’ve known each other before.
Finally, someone to share this experience with. I’ve been feeling so lonely.
My typical day is: – wake up – take the boys to school – teach – come home – meditate, do some breathing exercises, and then some yoga – write letters, do some chores – go pick the boys up, do homework with them – then play games with them – eat dinner, do dishes – read with Maelle and Jean – Do. in le salon – go to bed
It’s very low key and my French is getting much more fluid, but I don’t feel like ME. I’m bored.
Being with Sandra makes me feel like I’m ALIVE again. She’s been here longer than me so she knows a few more people.
YEAH! I cannot wait to begin living life like Erin again!
In fact, I have “Felt my fear and done it anyway” and asked to use the car so Sandra and I can drive to La Rochelle, a beautiful city near the ocean, tomorrow!
Chère Diary,
Well, we were all set to go to La Rochelle when Sandra told me a friend invited her to an art exhibit in Clisson, a nearby town, and would I like to come?
She thought I’d be excited to know that another friend is coming along who is a yoga teacher.
To be honest, I was really disappointed. I’ve never been good with plans changing at the last minute. And, why was our plan so easy to toss out?
I felt a bit of anger arise within me, but now that I’ve been reading the Dalai Lama and Deepak Chopra books I am trying to go with the flow more. There must be a reason this is happening, so I changed my attitude and said, “Okay.”
Maybe I could get some good yoga tips for my butt! It seems to be growing by the day with all the cheese and patisseries I’ve been eating!
Chère Diary,
I can’t write much right now because I’m so tired, but today was magnificent!
Sandra and I went for lunch and the yoga teacher was going to come and meet us and take us to where Sandra’s other friend was waiting.
Secretly, I wondered, “Is he going to be handsome?” I craved love and attention.
While we ate dessert, Guy, the yoga teacher walked in.
He wasn’t the dark haired French guy I was envisioning…in fact his hairline was receding, but WOW, he had incredible energy. What WAS that?
Guy sat with us and was so at ease. I liked this. Oooh, I LOVE being around people who have beautiful energy. This was going to be a fun day after all!
Sandra, Guy and I got in the car and on the journey we all chatted so effortlessly about yoga, how he teaches from his home, how he is a Buddhist (WOW! I’m reading a Dalai Lama book right now!!!), how his brother is a Buddhist monk (WOW! Maybe I can learn from him!), how he loves cooking and eating and playing the pan flutes….
I was getting a buzz out of this conversation!!!
I went from being lonely and slightly depressed to feeling ALIVE and excited and so, so curious!
Talking about spirituality, yoga and Buddhism thrilled me! And yes, with so much in common, I began feeling a slight attraction to Guy.
Somehow I feel a connection to his soul and I can’t explain why.
Guy, Sandra and I finally arrived in Clisson and it was magical…in every respect.
Join me HEREwhen I share with you the magic that occurred in Clisson, as well as some of the pictures I took on this very day!
I’m here in my bedroom and missing home, my family and Tony.
This is real.
The family is very nice. I think the boys really like me as they hang around me, tell me all sorts of stories and beg to sit by me at the dinner table.
Today, we went for a long walk in the countryside then came home and had an aperitif with Jean Do and Maelle – nice tradition!
The boys joined us and had juice in special cups and then we had a lighter meal of steamed broccoli with almond sauce.
And, they always have a cheese plate and baguette after dinner. Another nice tradition!
I’ve been reading The Art of Happiness and Seven Years in Tibet that Tony gave me and I’m feeling such a peace inside. I don’t know why!
Why am I feeling so connected to this?
Perhaps this year will give me the time and space to develop my spirituality more – something I have been desiring since I took that meditating course at University.
Tomorrow Maelle is going to take me to the school to meet with the principal and then to my own language class.
Gosh, when you actually live in a country they speak the language SO quickly. I am really finding it difficult speaking french and understanding people. I’m feeling so dumb! Plus it’s leading to so many miscommunications…
The other day, Maelle got really angry with me.
The boys were home with me, as kids don’t go to school on Wednesdays, and after lunch, Maelle came home. She asked one of the boys if they had had breakfast and he said no. She turned to me and asked why and I said that when I asked him he said, “Pas Encore” so I thought he didn’t want any thing else.
Turns out, “Pas Encore” also means “Not Yet!”How have I never known this??? I have only heard it used as “Not again”.
Then I was helping her with dishes and she saw an empty milk bottle and says, “Francois-Clement didn’t have his bottle?”
I replied, “Non”, wondering what she was talking about as this was the first I was hearing of any bottle giving.
She was fuming!
I said, “He has a bottle every morning?”
“Oui, une bouteille de lait chaud!” (A bottle of warm milk)
“Okay” (A 4 year old???? Who ever heard of giving a 4 year old a bottle!! I was to hold him in my arms and feed it to him. What???).
I became silent and wanted to pack my things and go home. I’m a professional who’s been married and through a recent divorce! I don’t need this!”
I went to my room and and read A LOT of my book “Seven Years in Tibet”. It makes me feel good inside so I calmed down and gained perspective.
The boys came to get me for dinner and I decided to be the bigger person and try to make conversation.
Slowly, everyone opened up and we had a nice time.
I think I will decorate my room and try to make it feel like ME. I will hang up my photos and pictures and add some candles. That should make me feel better.
I’m really looking forward to going to Language school tomorrow so I can meet people and learn words and phrases that I never knew existed!
Join me HERE when I meet not 1 but 2 friends and learn a lesson that I live by to this very day. (In fact it’s one of the main things I teach inThe Art of Living Elegantly).
Have you ever moved or lived in a different country? Have you experienced similar language barrier issues? I’d love to hear about them in the comment section below!
With so much love,
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Congratulations on taking your first step into The Elegant Life!
