Addicted: How to Elegantly Stop Negative Behaviours & Patterns

I’m finally ready to admit something: Hi, my name is Erin Kurt and I’m addicted to helping people.

Some of you may think I’m joking.

Some of you may think I’ve lost it! LOL!

And some of you may be quite confused right now….

Let me explain. (I know many of you ladies will completely “get” what I’m about to admit and share. Hey, maybe you’ll be joining me at Helping People Anonymous! LOL!)

During the past month, I have been busier than busy. And it’s of my own doing, to my own detriment.

I knew we were moving house in April.

I knew my husband was going to be away for a whole week after our move.

Yet I took on more work than ever….and I’ve hit a wall.

Not only did I run my very first LIVE training on The Elegant Clearing Process here in Dubai, but I had already agreed to host the ONLINE version of it as well, which required hours and hours of filming, editing & uploading of trainings.

At the same time, The Divine inspired me to teach women how to Elegantly Manifest & Maintain Their Best Body and create a 6 week program for it to continue supporting them while they put the principles into practise!

Now this is all great as the Divine downloaded this to me loud and clear…but! But…. I was the one who put pressure on myself to release it right away. What was I thinking??? (I have now switched to pre-selling it as my assistant, graphic designer and I all work to get it organised and looking gorgeous. If interested you can pre-order it HERE, and get the pre-order BONUS too!)

Throw into the bag being asked to be interviewed and having to create material for that, and I was in over my head.

You see, in the midst of my utter passion for my message and the mentoring I do with women I kind of forgot that there are other “life” aspects to be taken care of too.

Homework help, dinners to make, costumes and supplies to gather, birthday gifts to buy, parties to go to, leaks to fix, a house to set up….you get the picture. It’s been an intense month.

Can you relate at all?

How I First Became Addicted to Helping 

I can still see a movie in my mind that impacted my life forever. I am sitting in a Math Class feeling anxious and upset.

The teacher is teaching a lesson on fractions and a boy named Troy Yearly is continuously being asked questions by the teacher and getting them wrong.  At one point he drops his head to his desk in embarrassment and my heart breaks for him.

The whole time this went on I was thinking, “There is SUCH an easier way to teach this!  Why is she showing him how to do it like that?”

As soon as the teacher set out our textbook assignment I went up to Troy’s desk and said, “Troy, there’s a really easy way to do this, do you want me to show you?”

He mumbled, “Okay.”

I showed him a really simple method and gave him a question to try.  He did it in 2 seconds and I said, “Yes! That’s it!”

What happened next is something I’ll never forget.

He lifted his head up, turned to look at me and a big grin slowly appeared on his face.

That was all I needed.

My heart was FULL! I had instant energy inside, as if  I had just drank 20 cans of Red Bull.

I was overjoyed beyond anything I’d ever felt before from helping him….and this is when I became addicted to helping people.

How My Helping Addiction Didn’t Serve ME

I went on to become a teacher because I LOVED helping kids feel great about themselves and live up to their potential and beyond.

I then became a Stress-Free Parenting Coach to mothers & fathers all over the world because I wanted eliminate the unnecessary stress that parents were facing on a day to day basis.

And then I went on to coach women on how to create Signature Businesses for themselves because I so wanted them to feel the same empowerment and exhilaration I felt by being able to express myself and serve people using my natural gifts and abilities.

And now,  well, I am serving at the highest level ever.  What I do now makes me feel exactly as I did with Troy Yearly that day…. I assist women all over the world to live & manifest exquisite lives for themselves by helping them return HOME to their Divinity. NOTHING is better than this.

So, when I receive downloads on how to serve, I’m up for it!

When someone reaches out to me, I’m THERE.

When someone is feeling lost, disconnected, or at a major turning point in their life and needs guidance, I AM THERE.

And when they email me to share of their success, breakthroughs and miracles, I can’t go to sleep for hours because I am on such a high!

So, where’s the negative in all of this,  you ask?

Things I’ve Done to DisHonour Myself

1. Overcommitting to others and neglecting my own family
2. Promising a deadline and working night & day to honour that deadline (with little sleep and no time for doing those things I always dreamed of doing in my life.)
3. Allowing people to not pay me in full or bargain my price (I learned the hard way here. Now, I set my price which honours who I am and the magic I bring into people’s lives and no longer negotiate or offer payment plans. If someone desires change and is committed to that change they will find a way to raise the money to work with me or invest in one of my life-changing online programs. )
4. Working During My Holidays and Not Fully Turning Off. I used to do this all the time.  I finally learned to state that during a certain month I’ll only be doing Social Media postings. Although I had a wee slip just the other month when my hubby and I were talking about our trip to Canada this summer and I blurted out, “Hey! Maybe I can lead a short weekend workshop while we’re there!” Ahem…that didn’t go down well…

Can you relate to any of this? Do you give, give give and then hit a wall?

We come from such a great place, don’t we?

And I really do take care of myself! I regularly meditate, move, eat well, have dates with my hubby and friends and spend quality moments with my kiddies, but there is something deeper that is going on and I feel it.

You probably feel it too.

You KNOW your soul desires more quiet time.

You KNOW you miss your girlfriends.

You KNOW you miss reading more novels.

You KNOW you miss having your own “thing” outside of being a mother, a partner, a business owner or employee.

For me, it’s the fact that I am literally living the life I could only dream of years ago. 

But I am so busy right now serving and helping people that I have no time to fully ENJOY this life that I manifested.

And that’s not okay with my soul. That feels like a REAL dishonouring of the Divine.

How to Stop These Addicted Patterns

Step 1

Notice there’s a problem.

Step 2

Journal about WHY it’s a problem. Why is it feeling like a problem? How is it affecting your life right now?

Step 3

Write down how your ideal life would look and feel down to the smallest detail. (I do this with my 1:1 clients and it is a beautiful and very telling experience)

Step 4

Do the Elegant Clearing Process or Work 1:1 with someone who can support you with tools, strategies and mentorship on how to go from where you are to where you desire to be.

Step 5

Meditate and Visualise Your New Life Vision at least once a week. My 6 Phase Visioning Meditation is perfect for this.

After going through these steps myself:

• I definitely noticed that overcommitting and giving myself short time lines were a problem. I was addicted to helping so much that I forgot about honouring myself.
• I recognised all the ways in which being addicted to helping was negatively affecting my life.
• I revisited my life vision that I wrote on December 31, 2016 (New Years Eve) and became realigned to my soul’s desires in all areas of my life.
• I did the Elegant Clearing Process and made some beautiful decisions on how I will move forwards. (If you are interested in what my soul wants to do that I haven’t been doing, watch the video at minute 9:00 where I share all!)

What I want to hi-light here is that I always view every experience as a gift. And I really did receive a gift from this busy, uncomfortable month. I reconnected to my soul’s deepest desires.

If you have had a similar experience of over giving to the point of burnout or feeling resentful or getting ill, please do share it in the comments. Or…

Do you feel you are addicted to something that isn’t serving you anymore?  Please share below as I can guarantee someone else is feeling the very same way.

Talk to you in the comments!

With so much love,