The Making of an Spiritual Woman: Video #7 (Endings)

It was 9pm at night when the phone rang. It was David.

He wanted to talk.

In my mind there was nothing left to discuss and I was heartbroken because I had to put Lucky down the day before.

Lucky had been the dog I dreamed of, the dog my dad made me write a report about to show I would know how to take care of him. This little angel had been by my side for 17 years.

My puppy was so scared the day we entered the Vet’s office. He has a massive tumor and was in so much pain. He started shaking uncontrollably, crawling over my shoulder to try and get away as he must have felt something was going to happen.

I tried to hold it together when he peed on me out of fright. My sweet angel.

This day was one I told you would never happen.

I used to lie in bed with him when I was a young girl and say, “I will never put you down. I don’t know how people can do that. I love you, Lucky.”

And here I was, doing just that. I HAD to. Our whole family entered the room and I sat Lucky on the cold, metal table. I had my arm around him and then the vet came in to inject him.

The first try didn’t work and Lucky became agitated. All I remember is the sound of his scratching nails on the metal table, trying to climb up on me again. I broke down sobbing and then…

My sweet angel dropped slowing into my arms and he was gone.

Anyone who has ever had to do this knows the deep PAIN of this.

My puppy loved me unconditionally. He was the one who waited atop the sofa to see me come home from school each day. He is the one who sat silently by be when I cried over a heart break.

He was the one who would lick me uncontrollably when he was happy.

I couldn’t believe he was gone.

The loss I felt was profound.

And now, David wanted to talk…

I shared with him the devastating news that I had to put Lucky down and at first he was genuinely sorry. He knew how precious Lucky was to me.

Quickly though, he wanted to change the topic to us.

He was saying all the right things, being sensitive, admitting his wrong doings, his realizations. He wanted me to give us one more chance. He promised it would be different.

I was feeling very emotionally weak.

How could I end a marriage when someone was telling me all these things? I never thought I’d get divorced! I had to do the right thing and try one more time.

David saw I was opening to the idea so he tried to rush my answer. I asked him to give me a bit of time as I was still grieving from Lucky’s death.

He pushed, and when I said firmly, “David, I’ve just lost Lucky. I need some time”, David’s reply was, “Erin, he was just a f_cking dog!”

It was then that I knew… It. Was. Over.

I said, “You’ve just made my decision. Good- bye.” And I hung up.

I got ready for bed yet had a horrible feeling in my stomach. I felt that David might try and come over to continue this conversation. It was his pattern.

I got into bed, still feeling sick to my stomach when I heard the a car screech up to the house. The car door slammed and before I knew it he was ringing the doorbell nonstop.

It was 1:30am.

I started to get concerned that my parents would be woken up so I got out of bed.

Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding….he didn’t stop ringing the doorbell.

Now my parents were up.

The ringing switched to pounding.

“LET ME IN!!!!!” David yelled.

I became so scared, especially after my previous experience, that I called 911 and asked the police if they could just come by and make him go away.

The police officer kept me on the phone by asking lots of questions and I started to get so anxious.

“Please, just send someone! He’s going to break the door down!”

All of a sudden I heard a huge THUD . Down came a set of double doors and in came David charging at me.

I screamed and yelled, “Please, send someone! He’s broken down the door!”

My father came between me and David and then a fight broke out.

David pushed my father down.

My father, who has a soft heart like me, said calmly, “Hey buddy, please just calm down.”

I”’m not your f-cking buddy! Let me talk to Erin!” he replied.

Then my mom got involved and David started yelling obsenities at her.

My dad managed to get David out to the front lawn but after David pushed him down once more and started wrestling with him, my sister got involved.

She came outside with a tennis racket and began hitting David with it to get him off my dad.

Meanwhile I’m on the phone begging them to please send the police. The officer kept assuring me they were on their way, but it was taking forever!!!

Finally, they arrived and pulled David off my dad.

One officer handcuffed David and put him in the car and another came to check on me.

He said they’d be back to take my statement.

I waited until 4:30 am, meanwhile planning for a subsitute teacher (the “JOYS” of being of teacher)

At 4:30 the police arrived and as soon as they came in they said, “This isn’t the first time he’s been abusive, is it?”

I said no and they told me that he was a typical abuser. As soon as they put him in the police car he began banging his head on the window saying , “Why are you doing this to me???”

Their reply? “Buddy, you did this to yourself.”

After giving my statement to the police I fell fast asleep…totally and utterly exhausted, both physically and emotionally.

Did this all just happen?

Is this MY life?

I was in disbelief.

The next day I went in to see Matt and the Principal to share what had happend just in case David decided to break the restraining order put against him and come to get me at the school.

I was trying to be so strong, but I half talked, half cried.

Matt was so concerned, and I admit, it felt nice to have a man know that this was unacceptable behaviour.

Later that day Matt came to tell me how strong I was and that all he wanted to do in that office was  hold me.

I felt very, very cared for…for a couple of days.

So why did I find an invitation in my mailbox inviting me to “Matt & Tanya’s” house for a Scavenger Hunt????

Join me HERE for Part 8 of “The Making of an Spiritual Woman” where I try and learn to set boundaries and teach people how to treat me – a lesson I will need to practise over and over again! The start of my SELF LOVE journey begins.

Can you relate to any part of this story? I’d love to hear from you in comments below.  The more we speak up and share, the more we can help other women currently going through this situation.

See you tomorrow!

Love,