Dear Diary,
I was giddy!!!
My new life was beginning!
My whole body felt exhilarated and FREE!!!!
Finally I had told David what I had wanted to tell him for years. And finally, Matt and I were going to share what we had wanted to share for months.
The afternoon couldn’t go quick enough.
We decided to meet at a certain bar close to the school.
We did small chat and then Matt spilled his guts.
This was the BEST day!!!
What I had wondered for months was finally answered!
Unfortunately, it was Sprink Break and we’d be away from each other for 10 days. Plus, he was still with his girlfriend and was in the process of breaking it off with her.
How did I spend my Break?
With Tony!
After hearing of my break up he invited me to piano recitals, museums, and again to dinner.
We spent evening after evening with Ian and our other friend John jamming in their basement. Ian on the drums, Tony on the guitar, John on then base and me as lead vocals.
Was this actually happening?
Was this my LIFE?
I had NEVER felt this way before. I could be myself. I could laugh as loud and silly as I wanted (David always told me to quiet down. People would think I’m weird)
One night, Tony and I were alone. We had a bit to drink…okay, a lot, and just laughed and sang the entire night. At one point he pulled me up to dance with him, stared into my eyes and then kissed me.
Ahhhhhhh! To feel passion again. To feel desired again. To feel feminine and womanly again!
By a man who enjoyed life as I did. This confirmed to me that I had done the right thing by leaving David. THIS was who Erin was. THIS was the life I wanted to live. THIS was the kind of man I wanted to spend time with.
I was very honest that night and openly shared that there was possibly something between another man and myself.
I just felt I had to be open. I’ve never lied. I just can’t.
Spring Break came and went and school was back in session…as was Matt’s flirting.
He came back and handed me a poem he had written entitled, “BEAUTIFUL”. I had never had anyone write something so deep and beautiful about me.
My whole body felt FULL. Full of everything good that I had yearned for. I remember feeling like life was a lover for me.
I used to think that I was just going to have to settle. That I would have to watch romantic movies to experience real romance.
But, here I was. Erin. Receiving profound, loving attention from two wonderful men.
Life was feeling incredible… until the night the police had to come to my parent’s home and arrest David.
Join me HERE for Part 7 of “The Making of an Spiritual Woman” where I share something I cannot even believe I experienced in my life. BUT, it’s also the moment when my FREEDOM & AWAKENING truly began.
See you tomorrow!
Love,
2 Comments
Your comment about not keeping the things that other men had given you out of respect for your husband really resonated with me. I’m not married but I thought “I need to get rid of these things 1)to make energetic space for the perfect partner, 2) out of respect for my future husband. I went through photographs and took out all the ones of my last boyfriend. I have other photos that need to go as well, but those will be harder to release. Like your singing partner, Mark has always been very special to me even though our friendship never really evolved into anything. But he’s married now and has two children, letting go of his photos is probably the right thing to do.
Hi Mary! Yes, if it resonated with you then it’s probably a good idea. The Divine speaks to us via emotions mostly, so follow this and create space for your ideal partner.