Looking for some fabulous Valentine’s Day ideas? Well, as you know already, we do things a bit differently here at The Elegant Life:)
As Elegant women, we always check in with ourselves first.
And when we do this, we have a knowingness of what our soul desires and how it would like to ENJOY Valentines Day.
Now, I’ve always had a dilemma because j’adore themed holidays! I think it’s the teacher in me:) So, to go out for dinner and be served everything in heart shapes would thrill me to no end…the problem is, my husband doesn’t feel the same way.
He resists holidays like Valentine’s Day because he dislikes the commercialism of it. He prefers to be loving and generous to me all year round (okay, and to not have to pay triple the amount for a meal and flowers).
This used to really hurt me. And the hurt often turned to resentment….“You know I love it, so why can’t you just do it for me?”
However, as you realised fromlast week’s post on How to Elegantly Set Boundaries, we as Elegant women must know what we require and then decide what we will do if the other person does not give us what we need.
WE are responsible for our own happiness.
So, here’s what I decided to do, since he wouldn’t budge:
a) I became clear on what I actually LOVE about Valentines Day. You know me by now:) Yes, I love the fact that it’s all about LOVE.
b) I also love how you can easily have a themed evening around it.
c) I also love showing people how much I love them.
d) I love sharing the excitement of a holiday with my kids – they’re exactly like me:) YEAH!
So, for the past 5 years I have been creating a themed Valentines Day dinner, at home with my family, that I love so much. Yep, heart shaped lights, heart shaped pizzas, heart shaped cakes and decorations, and a LOVE HUNT where my kiddies follow clues that are all based around ways we love each other.
And while I do this, my heart is filled with LOVE, my kiddies hearts are filled with LOVE and my hubby stares at me from a distance with a loving gaze and says, “I love you. The way you get excited about all this is so amazing, so YOU. How lucky our kids are to have you as their mummy.”
And all is well in my world on Valentine’s Day.
If I didn’t do this and my hubby surprised me with a dinner out one year (which I still would love to happen at least once, but there’s zero attachment to it) I would actually miss this little tradition I’ve created.
So, let me ask you a few questions:
If you had to plan your own personal Valentine’s Day,
What would you eat?
What would you do?
What kind of woman would you BE on this day?
What gift would you love to receive?
I invite you to create your own special evening, and if you choose to invite someone to share it with you, that’s YOUR choice.
If I didn’t have a partner and children, or for some reason if I was alone on this day I would:
Buy some Processco and luxury dark chocolates for myself.
Spend a bit of time planning the next “Girls Getaway” with my friends, Sandrine & Laura (this year it’s Italy!)
Watch a movie that my soul desires to watch.
BLISS! Magnifique!
I would FULLY be able to enjoy this day because of the amount of Self-Love I have for myself. I don’t need anyone to “make” me happy, I know how to do that all by myself. And with this energy emanating from me, who knows what I’ll experience or bring into my life?
I’d be curious to hear how you are celebrating (or not) this Valentine’s Day! Are you like me and LOVE the whole theme of love hearts? Or do you prefer to cook a simple dinner for two and watch a movie together? Or, do you go all out, with dinner, hotel and presents?
Please share it in the comments below!
Next week I’ll be sharing yet another way to increase your self-love, so I’ll see you back here soon!
Setting boundaries is something women know in their core that they need to do in order to fully take care of themselves, but often they fear the backlash or their own feelings of guilt for voicing their needs.
Plus, the majority of women have no idea HOW to elegantly set a boundary, and if we’re being honest here, which you know I always am, then I’ll just say it, most women don’t have the amount of self-love or self-respect that is required to set a healthy boundary.
Because most woman are unable to set boundaries they often feel:
Powerless
Small and unimportant
Resentful
Hurt
Angry
Here’s what Women Who Live Elegantly know: we teach people how to treat us. Plain and simple.
We cannot blame our kids for talking rudely to us.
We cannot blame our partners for not treating us the way we want.
We cannot blame a co-worker for speaking down to us.
And we cannot blame someone who wrote a hurtful comment on our Facebook feed.
We women require to take ownership of how we allow things to make us feel and how we allow people to treat us.
So, I ask you,
“What area(s) of your life would you like to set a healthy boundary?”
Be specific here.
Is a friend always late for your coffee dates?
Do your children talk back to you or not even listen to you when you ask them to start or stop doing something?
How about your partner? Do they make plans without even asking you? Do they put you down when you talk about things you’re excited about?
Make your list right now. I’ll wait:)
Now, take this list and rewrite it with the energy of self-love, self-respect & self-empowerment.
Here’s an example:
I require my friends to show up on time for our coffee dates.
I require my friends to be present with me, not checking their iPhone every 20 seconds.
I require affection from my husband on a regular basis.
Now, remember this:
People can’t know what we require if we don’t voice it.
Yes, voicing our needs can be difficult. Trust me, I know! Setting boundaries has been something I have had to practice BIG TIME!
I’ve had people treat me disrespectfully and instead of teaching them how to treat me I walked away and either cried, vented to someone or felt sick to my stomach for days on end.
It was only when I began feeling a real sense of self-lovein France that I began to be better at setting boundaries. I loved myself and no longer needed the approval or permission of anyone to like what I liked or be treated as I wanted to be treated.
It definitely took practise and even to this day there are certain situations in which I still find it difficult to set a boundary.
However now, I know how my soul and body feel when I haven’t set a boundary, so I instantly recognise this and make a conscious effort,in the moment, to voice what I require.
The Elegant Way of Setting Boundaries:
1.Voice your need.
2. State what YOU will do if your need is not met. Remember, it’s not the other person’s responsibility to change, it’s YOU who has to decide what your action will be if your need is not met. And yes, I know this takes courage.
Here are a couple of examples for you to see how this looks and sounds in action:)
“When I’m with you, I need to feel you’re present with me, and when you check your iPhone all the time it doesn’t feel right. So, in the future, if this happens I’ll have to graciously leave.”
“I need to feel affection from you on a regular basis. I need you to take my hand when we walk down the street, to come up behind me and hug me, and to give me a loving kiss, not a peck when you leave in the morning. These things make me feel loved. If I don’t feel this affection from you I am going to begin seeing a counsellor to determine whether or not I can remain in this relationship.”
Notice how I’m very clear about my needs and what I require, and how I voice them, without anger or judgement, just simply matter of fact.
One thing I know for sure, from direct experience, is that when you DO set a boundary with someone, you feel a deep sense of self-respect and self honouring. And with this, your self-love just grows and grows.
And when your self-love grows and grows, you stop attracting people or situations that require you to set boundaries.
Why?
Because you resonate a different vibration; a vibration that is no longer a match to people or situations that would require you to set a boundary.
I’ll leave you with this:
It is your responsibility to protect your soul. Therefore you must be very clear about your needs and what your soul requires and voice that to whomever it applies.
You must also ONLY allow supportive people to be gifted space in your sacred energy field.
This includes social media friends or followers, partners, children, family members and friends you meet with in person.
It’s not anyone’s job to change or act differently, it’s up to you to voice what you require and allow the other person to make a choice as to whether or not they want to support that need of yours.
If someone speaks to you disrespectfully then with love, simply bless them and let them go from your life.
You can also choose to give someone a chance if they mean a lot to you. But, I have a rule for myself that if someone does or says something more than 2 times, they are not allowed in my energy field anymore. Period.
When you honour yourself and let go of things and people that no longer “jive with your vibe” you create more space for those who DO to enter your life.
Trust me on this one. It’s a beautiful, beautiful experience when all that’s left in your world are things, experiences and people who love you, respect you and only want to support you.
I call this my Red Velvet Rope Policy – I open my rope to escort people out and I open it to cheerfully welcome people in.
I do this without anger or sadness. I simply do it with love; love for myself and love for the other person.
I’m so curious to hear your experience with setting boundaries. Have you found it difficult? If so, in what kinds of situations?
How have you handled setting boundaries in your life?
About 2 weeks ago, the Divine told me that I was to focus on Self-Love in February.
Normally in February the world focuses on “relationship” love, but I know (and you know) that the only way to attract or experience the type of love you desire in your life is to be in complete & total love with your SELF.
Self-Love changes everything. How?
The Top 5 Benefits of Self-Love:
1. You don’t “need” anyone to make you happy.
2. You effortlessly become or maintain your ideal weight.
3. You attract friends and lovers who truly love you & bring you joy.
4. You attract & manifest what you desire with ease and elegance.
5. You are able to make a real impact as you serve your purpose on earth.
Of course there are many, many more benefits of self-love, but these are at the top!
Now, the word “self-love” has never really resonated with me. I don’t know why but I felt no connection to it. It didn’t stir up a desire for me to change or work on myself.
Can you relate?
I’d see a headline on the front cover of a magazine about Self-Love and either roll my eyes, thinking, “Not again” or “Boring!”. The words just didn’t resonate with me.
But… what I realised is that I REALLY resonate with the word LOVE.
That one word feels FULL to me. It feels warm and all encompassing. I even love the way the word LOVE looks!
Most importantly though, I love the way love feels; when I give it and when I receive it.
By “give it” I also mean that I love the feeling when I “give love” to myself and fully “receive love” from myself.
Now THIS resonates with me. THIS has meaning for me and stirs up the desire to actually commit to doing it because I have felt the benefits and seen the benefits.
There are so many ways I have learned to give myself love. Here are just a few that have strongly impacted my life…
5 Ways to Give Yourself Love
1. Have a “Red Velvet Rope Policy” for your life. Bless and let go of anyone or anything that makes you feel anything less than loved or joyful.
2. Gift yourself things or experiences that your soul desires.
3. Make yourself a priority.
4. Have a daily ritual that honours who you ARE, as well as the woman you desire to BE.
5. Gift your body high vibrational foods in order to honour her.
BONUS!
Every day tell yourself 1 thing that you LOVE about yourself.
Each week in February I am going to elaborate on one of the ideas above. My intention is to share with you simple and pleasurable ways you can give LOVE to yourself so that you feel JOYFUL & PEACEFUL inside, and that your outer reality aligns with these feelings and therefore attracts all good things that are a vibrational match.
The other thing I was divinely guided to do was to create a 28 Day Self-Love Challenge! I’m SO excited! J’adore GIFTING!!!
Each day in February, starting February 1st, return to the platform you choose to follow and watch for the post that looks like this:
In the comment section post 1 thing you love about yourself or your life.
If you comment on all 28 days your name will be entered into a luxurious giveaway! To acknowledge all the women who committed to cultivating self-love within themselves I will be adding their names to a draw and then gifting 1 woman from the draw a beautiful & highly luxurious gift that will be sent straight to her door!
Your name will ONLY be entered into the draw if you have “LIKED” or “FOLLOWED” one of the social media platforms listed above AND commented on all 28 days of the challenge. NO exceptions. A draw will be made on March 1st and the winner will be announced and contacted so that the giveaway prize can be promptly shipped. WOMEN ONLY.
ENJOY the process. ENJOY the feeling. ENJOY the LOVE!
Because, as the French would say… L’amour, c’est magnifique!
Money makes life easier. It allows us to enjoy things and experiences that feed our soul. And it gifts us freedom. Freedom to make certain life choices that may not be so easy if money were not there.
I know what you’re saying, “Yes, Erin, but HOW? HOW do I prosper?”
This used to be my question. I asked it every day! You see, each of us comes to the earth with one main issue that exists in order to aid in the evolution of our soul.
Mine happened to be prosperity and money. If you haven’t read my story you’ll find it all in HERE. Issues for other people may be: love, weight, relationships, confidence, health…
Things I’ve “Tried” in order to Prosper:
I tried getting a job.
This was good. I loved being a teacher and was often shocked to find a pay stub in my mailbox every month because I enjoyed it so much. However… my soul desired regular manicures, pedicures and massages and adored staying in luxury hotels, buying high quality clothes and travelling the world. The issue I had was that on a teacher’s salary, this wasn’t always possible.
I tried saying and writing affirmations.
Since I’ve always been into spirituality I used to read countless books on the power of affirmations. The problem was that my subconscious beliefs were SO geared against these affirmations that I could feel the resistance within myself that it wouldn’t work.
I read books on becoming wealthy
such as “Think and Grow Rich“and “The Science of Getting Rich”, and did all the things they said to do, but just ended up spending every waking hour thinking about money (from a lack perspective) and nothing changed. Well, one thing did…I felt even more anxious and desperate about money!
I took courses and went to LIVE trainings.
Everyone at these events kept talking about action. You’ve got to take action. Now, since I’m a very self-disciplined person and former “Type A personality” I took action like crazy! At one point, I had written a book, was writing a blog and articles for 3 other top websites, was filming videos for my You Tube Channel, recording interviews for my own Blog Talk Radio Show, and was a parenting expert for a UK counselling site. Oh, did I mention that I was also launching online products and programs and coaching people at all times of the day and night too? Oh, goodness me, I forgot to say that I was being interviewed multiple times a week for US morning radio shows! (Their morning shows were 10pm at night in the UK!) All of this while having a young child at home.
Yes, ladies, I did it ALL! In fact I was so committed to having an abundant life so that I could live life the way my SOUL desired, that I did something that completely dishonoured my soul.
Attending the SHINE Event
You see this picture? I’m smiling, I’m at a major event called SHINE, the second one put on by Business Guru Ali Brown, and…I’m bleeding profusely.
I had grown my business to a point, but something was blocking the financial growth that I desired. I couldn’t seem to help more people but also help myself financially too , so I got up the courage to speak to my husband about buying the hefty priced ticket, buying a flight from the UK to Las Vegas and looking after our son while I was gone.
I felt so proud of myself for “taking action”, for going after my dreams, for “doing what it takes”, for “working hard”, even though I was pregnant and feeling exhausted.
So, I flew to Vegas, got to my hotel room and decided to take a nap straight away. When I woke from my nap I went to the toilet and there was blood everywhere.
I had never experienced a miscarriage and had never known anyone who had, so I wasn’t too concerned. Perhaps I was “spotting”.
I decided to go to bed early. Maybe my body was just tired from the long flight and needed rest.
No such luck. All throughout the night I was awoken by more and more blood.
(To hear the whole story watch the video at minute 9:00-10:30)
The Moment I Completely Dishonoured My Soul
So there I was, at the event, and every 20-30 minutes racing to the bathroom to pile 3 pads on top of each other, along with a tampon and toilet paper. Then I would put on my business face again and walk into the event raising my hand to say, “Hello, I’m Erin Kurt from ErinParenting and I’m so excited to be here from the UK”.
I masterminded, I went for lunch with women, I connected with women who were at a higher level in their business in order to ask them for tips and tricks, I did it ALL.
I was so proud of myself for doing “whatever it took” for success because that is what every wealthy person was spouting as the secret to their success.
YUCK!
Sadly, I continued on this road for a few more years, with an incremental increase to my wealth.
The Moment I Surrendered and Began to Prosper
It was only when I became so disheartened, so tired, so hopeless that I would ever get MY big break, that I surrendered.
“I give up the fight, God. I will use my talents to serve, but I won’t push. I won’t beg you anymore. I can’t, I’m emotionally & physically tired. Maybe I am just not meant to have wealth in this lifetime. I surrender.”
When I began surrendering my body let down. I could literally FEEL the lack of attachment to my desires. And for the first time in YEARS, I finally felt free.
From that point on, I began feeling into what things I loved to do and what things stressed me.
I began filtering everything through the lens of “Does this bring me JOY?”
Because if I wasn’t going to be wealthy, I might as well feel JOYFUL doing this, right? That was my thinking process at the time.
I began receiving strong inner guidance on what things I should do, so I did those. Funny enough, I began attracting more opportunities and clients!
FUN!
I kept following the next step and the next step and the next step as it was shown to me. I didn’t always understand it and it wasn’t always comfortable, but I just kept surrendering.
Each soul-inspired step I took made my business prosper more and more.
It was a completely different formula than what most people were talking about, but I could see a trend that all of the women who worked so hard for their success were burnt out and desired more balance in their lives.
Hmm, I was on to something! I was growing my business AND enjoying my life at the same time. YES!
Now, I’ll be honest and tell you that I faltered at times. There were times I saw a Facebook ad for a new strategy and got taken off my path of inner peace and went down the “work hard” route again.
I would see others using certain techniques successfully and once again fall off track. But, the one thing that always brought me back was the core feeling I desired – JOY. And if it ever started to feel like I was losing that, then I would realign and shift.
In 2015 my soul told me to STOP. Stop all my businesses and take a sabbatical. Of course my ego went, “WHAT???” But, by then I had learned to trust and so I surrendered and announced my sabbatical.
Of course I kept listening for Divine guidance and took action on only those things.
What so elegantly transpired was:
My life’s prosperity grew more that year than ever before!
I wrote a children’s book series with my mother, one that had been our dream for years!
My ability to prosper just keeps growing and growing, SO elegantly. No “hard work”, no pushing, no desperation, no struggle…
Just alignment, JOY and elegance. Opportunities find me, magnetically come to me. Synchronicities are over the top! Everything just floooows.
So, what is the Secret to Living an Abundant, Prosperous Life full of Inner peace, Pleasure, JOY & Beauty?
You require to:
a) get clear on your ideal Life Vision
b) make an Elegant Intention for exactly what you desire
c) surrender
d) listen to divine guidance and take THAT kind of action.
Do not remain attached to your desires – you will only be resonating the energy of, “I don’t have this yet”.
You want to spend your time and energy units on doing things that truly bring you JOY, and only take action on the things that your soul tells you to do.
How do you know if it’s your soul and not your ego telling you to do things? That is a bigger conversation, but one that I spend a whole module on in The Art of Living Elegantly program.
If you are interested in learning the full process that I live my life by then I invite you to have a look at The Art of Living Elegantly. You can learn moreHERE.
THIS is what changed everything for me, Ladies. I do THIS.
I LOVE giving special gifts to people, so what better way to celebrate my birthday than to gift you 45% off everything in my shop! Use code: happy45
Why 45% you ask? Well, today I turn 45!
I can barely believe it! I definitely feel I have the wisdom of a 45 year old woman, but I can remember being little and thinking that 45 was quite old! I feel the farthest thing from that!
In fact, in many ways, I feel the best I’ve ever felt! Both inside and out.
I have in my life right now Elegant Processes that I use every.single.day that gift me the feelings of inner peace, JOY & fulfilment, and let me tell you, it took a LONG time to get here.
My wish is that your journey doesn’t have to be as tumultuous and long as mine in order for you to experience what I do now – a life full of abundance, LOVE, pleasure, JOY, inner peace, balance & beauty.
My wish is that prosperity & abundance is elegantly brought to you.
My wish is that inner peace is consistently felt by you.
My wish is that you experience JOY & pleasure each and every day.
And my wish is that you feel & experience beauty always.
The best way I can serve you on your journey is to offer you the processes and principles that made all the difference to me and that I still use to this day.
They are for YOU, and today, they are all going to be 45% off!
If I had to recommend just one I would suggest investing in The Art of Living Elegantly because it is the foundation of everything. Your life will change, without a doubt.
This sale will only last for 24 hours so if you have been wanting to purchase it, been humming and hawing about it, just do what Elegant Women do. (Use code: happy45)
They COMMIT to their evolution as a woman and invest in what can genuinely help them receive the life they desire.
Whoops! I’ve got to go pack a bag because I’m off to enjoy a day at the SPA with my hubby! I’ll share pics on Instagram and Facebook!
Love,
Manifest your desire into reality. Download this free meditation
Congratulations on taking your first step into The Elegant Life!
