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CategoriesMANIFESTING INNER PEACE

Addicted: How to Elegantly Stop Negative Behaviours & Patterns

I’m finally ready to admit something: Hi, my name is Erin Kurt and I’m addicted to helping people.

Some of you may think I’m joking.

Some of you may think I’ve lost it! LOL!

And some of you may be quite confused right now….

Let me explain. (I know many of you ladies will completely “get” what I’m about to admit and share. Hey, maybe you’ll be joining me at Helping People Anonymous! LOL!)

During the past month, I have been busier than busy. And it’s of my own doing, to my own detriment.

I knew we were moving house in April.

I knew my husband was going to be away for a whole week after our move.

Yet I took on more work than ever….and I’ve hit a wall.

Not only did I run my very first LIVE training on The Elegant Clearing Process here in Dubai, but I had already agreed to host the ONLINE version of it as well, which required hours and hours of filming, editing & uploading of trainings.

At the same time, The Divine inspired me to teach women how to Elegantly Manifest & Maintain Their Best Body and create a 6 week program for it to continue supporting them while they put the principles into practise!

Now this is all great as the Divine downloaded this to me loud and clear…but! But…. I was the one who put pressure on myself to release it right away. What was I thinking??? (I have now switched to pre-selling it as my assistant, graphic designer and I all work to get it organised and looking gorgeous. If interested you can pre-order it HERE, and get the pre-order BONUS too!)

Throw into the bag being asked to be interviewed and having to create material for that, and I was in over my head.

You see, in the midst of my utter passion for my message and the mentoring I do with women I kind of forgot that there are other “life” aspects to be taken care of too.

Homework help, dinners to make, costumes and supplies to gather, birthday gifts to buy, parties to go to, leaks to fix, a house to set up….you get the picture. It’s been an intense month.

Can you relate at all?

How I First Became Addicted to Helping 

I can still see a movie in my mind that impacted my life forever. I am sitting in a Math Class feeling anxious and upset.

The teacher is teaching a lesson on fractions and a boy named Troy Yearly is continuously being asked questions by the teacher and getting them wrong.  At one point he drops his head to his desk in embarrassment and my heart breaks for him.

The whole time this went on I was thinking, “There is SUCH an easier way to teach this!  Why is she showing him how to do it like that?”

As soon as the teacher set out our textbook assignment I went up to Troy’s desk and said, “Troy, there’s a really easy way to do this, do you want me to show you?”

He mumbled, “Okay.”

I showed him a really simple method and gave him a question to try.  He did it in 2 seconds and I said, “Yes! That’s it!”

What happened next is something I’ll never forget.

He lifted his head up, turned to look at me and a big grin slowly appeared on his face.

That was all I needed.

My heart was FULL! I had instant energy inside, as if  I had just drank 20 cans of Red Bull.

I was overjoyed beyond anything I’d ever felt before from helping him….and this is when I became addicted to helping people.

How My Helping Addiction Didn’t Serve ME

I went on to become a teacher because I LOVED helping kids feel great about themselves and live up to their potential and beyond.

I then became a Stress-Free Parenting Coach to mothers & fathers all over the world because I wanted eliminate the unnecessary stress that parents were facing on a day to day basis.

And then I went on to coach women on how to create Signature Businesses for themselves because I so wanted them to feel the same empowerment and exhilaration I felt by being able to express myself and serve people using my natural gifts and abilities.

And now,  well, I am serving at the highest level ever.  What I do now makes me feel exactly as I did with Troy Yearly that day…. I assist women all over the world to live & manifest exquisite lives for themselves by helping them return HOME to their Divinity. NOTHING is better than this.

So, when I receive downloads on how to serve, I’m up for it!

When someone reaches out to me, I’m THERE.

When someone is feeling lost, disconnected, or at a major turning point in their life and needs guidance, I AM THERE.

And when they email me to share of their success, breakthroughs and miracles, I can’t go to sleep for hours because I am on such a high!

So, where’s the negative in all of this,  you ask?

Things I’ve Done to DisHonour Myself

  1. Overcommitting to others and neglecting my own family
  2. Promising a deadline and working night & day to honour that deadline (with little sleep and no time for doing those things I always dreamed of doing in my life.)
  3. Allowing people to not pay me in full or bargain my price (I learned the hard way here. Now, I set my price which honours who I am and the magic I bring into people’s lives and no longer negotiate or offer payment plans. If someone desires change and is committed to that change they will find a way to raise the money to work with me or invest in one of my life-changing online programs. )
  4. Working During My Holidays and Not Fully Turning Off. I used to do this all the time.  I finally learned to state that during a certain month I’ll only be doing Social Media postings. Although I had a wee slip just the other month when my hubby and I were talking about our trip to Canada this summer and I blurted out, “Hey! Maybe I can lead a short weekend workshop while we’re there!” Ahem…that didn’t go down well…

Can you relate to any of this? Do you give, give give and then hit a wall?

We come from such a great place, don’t we?

And I really do take care of myself! I regularly meditate, move, eat well, have dates with my hubby and friends and spend quality moments with my kiddies, but there is something deeper that is going on and I feel it.

You probably feel it too.

You KNOW your soul desires more quiet time.

You KNOW you miss your girlfriends.

You KNOW you miss reading more novels.

You KNOW you miss having your own “thing” outside of being a mother, a partner, a business owner or employee.

For me, it’s the fact that I am literally living the life I could only dream of years ago. 

But I am so busy right now serving and helping people that I have no time to fully ENJOY this life that I manifested.

And that’s not okay with my soul. That feels like a REAL dishonouring of the Divine.

How to Stop These Addicted Patterns

Step 1

Notice there’s a problem.

Step 2

Journal about WHY it’s a problem. Why is it feeling like a problem? How is it affecting your life right now?

Step 3

Write down how your ideal life would look and feel down to the smallest detail. (I do this with my 1:1 clients and it is a beautiful and very telling experience)

Step 4

Do the Elegant Clearing Process or Work 1:1 with someone who can support you with tools, strategies and mentorship on how to go from where you are to where you desire to be.

Step 5

Meditate and Visualise Your New Life Vision at least once a week. My 6 Phase Visioning Meditation is perfect for this.

After going through these steps myself:

  • I definitely noticed that overcommitting and giving myself short time lines were a problem. I was addicted to helping so much that I forgot about honouring myself.
  • I recognised all the ways in which being addicted to helping was negatively affecting my life.
  • I revisited my life vision that I wrote on December 31, 2016 (New Years Eve) and became realigned to my soul’s desires in all areas of my life.
  • I did the Elegant Clearing Process and made some beautiful decisions on how I will move forwards. (If you are interested in what my soul wants to do that I haven’t been doing, watch the video at minute 9:00 where I share all!)

What I want to hi-light here is that I always view every experience as a gift. And I really did receive a gift from this busy, uncomfortable month. I reconnected to my soul’s deepest desires.

If you have had a similar experience of over giving to the point of burnout or feeling resentful or getting ill, please do share it in the comments. Or…

Do you feel you are addicted to something that isn’t serving you anymore?  Please share below as I can guarantee someone else is feeling the very same way.

Talk to you in the comments!

With so much love,

 

 

ekurt
the making of an elegant woman
CategoriesELEGANT BEAUTY, ELEGANT TRAVEL, MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE, THE MAKING OF A SPIRITUAL WOMAN

The Making of a Spiritual Woman: Video #27 (The FINALE)

Well, this beautiful story could continue… in fact it could continue on for years since the connection between Guy, Emil and my current husband, Ilker, is very interconnected. This has been a full circle love story that I will hold close to my heart forever. It’s the story of how I became the Spiritual Woman I am today and how I truly live “The Elegant Life”.

Here is the short version of how things ended with all of the key players in this beautiful story…

I did see Emil one last time – in Prague. That story can be for another time because it wasn’t the kind of meeting I expected, in fact I felt heart broken at one point and then strong and resilient near the end.

The interesting part is that after I returned to Canada, an amazing thing happened to reconnect us and I spent months trying to find a way to get him over to Canada. However, in the midst of this, I met my husband. When I finally told Emil about my “boyfriend” we eventually stopped communicating. The last time I heard from Emil was on my wedding day.

I hadn’t heard from Emil for years but on the morning of my wedding day, which was in Turkey, just next door to Bulgaria where he lived, I opened my email to find, you guessed it, an email from Emil saying he missed me. Yeah, I know….

Talk about a year!

1997, a year that began with drama and things I never thought would happen to me in my life…to experiencing things that were amazing, AMAZING!

In one year I went from stressed, insecure and scattered to spiritually aligned, peaceful and confident in who I was as a woman.

During the remaining months in France my relationship with Guy as well as my spiritual evolution flourished.

I left France with a daily practise that I did every morning without fail…and still do to this day.

When my sister came to visit me in France, just before I left, she was in awe at the reaction I was receiving from people on the street.

“Did you SEE that?” she’d say. “Look how people are reacting to you!”

I was oblivious to it – I just thought their stares and double takes were perhaps because they thought I was someone famous.

But no, there was something different about me.

I felt inner peace.

I felt connected to my “Divine Nature”

I felt beautiful.

I intimately knew and LOVED who Erin was. I loved what her style was and I knew what she required and what she desired…. I just loved her.

WATCH the video above, at minute 5:44-6:30, for a little giggle:)

Guy is, to this day, the greatest gift of my life. He GAVE me the life I have now, as it’s because of everything he showed me, did for me and taught me that I am the woman I am and that I have the life I have now.

This is why he and I were meant to come together that year.  I served the evolution of his soul and he served the evolution of mine. No, it wasn’t meant to be  a long term relationship, but it was truly a year we will both always remember and be thankful for.

I’ve not seen him since 1998, but we spoke regularly for years.

A period went by when our communication totally stopped.

He got married, I got married. We both had children, etc. but a couple of years ago Sandra, he and I almost reunited in Paris. (Sandra and I did and that story is one I MUST tell you since it miraculously occurred after I used my Elegant Clearing Process™).

Sadly, Guy is divorced now, but he is still teaching yoga and is highly respected in what he does.

If you go back to post #1 of this series, “The Making of a Spiritual Woman: A Pilgrimage That Began in Paris”, you will see that it began with Guy and I sitting on a park bench and me staring up into the sky saying with such sadness and hopelessness, “I just want to be happy, Guy. I just want to be happy.”

Well, here’s where I will end this series…

Picture it being July 26, 2003 and I’m on a boat, with 150 plus guests sailing down the Bosphorus in Istanbul, Turkey.

I’m wearing a simple, elegant wedding dress that is so ME, and I’m with my father. We are dancing to the Father/Daughter song and all I keep repeating is, “Dad, I’m so happy right now. I’m SO happy.”

I felt peace in my heart and full JOY and contentment with my life, who I was marrying and who I was as a woman.

The Finale of The Making of an Elegant Woman

The Finale of The Making of an Elegant Woman The Finale of The Making of an Elegant Woman

I want to say a massive thank you to my husband; my dark-haired, spiritual, generous, guitar playing, great cook, music loving, great lover of a husband for loving me unconditionally and gifting me two incredibly beautiful souls…our children.

HERE is a post I wrote culminating all the BIG LIFE lessons I learned in France and what that means for YOU.  

I always felt I needed to share this story, but I never wanted to share it just for ME. There was a purpose and the Divine told me I needed to share it.

The beautiful responses I’ve been receiving privately just solidifies WHY I needed to share it.

The post HERE shares how we’ll be moving forward at The Elegant Life.

I really cannot wait! It’s been 20 years since I began my pilgrimage back HOME to the truth of who I am, both as a soul and as a woman, and I finally feel ready to BE the woman I was meant to BE; to share these exquisite Elegant Processes & Principles it took me years to learn and embody.

Now it’s your turn to begin your OWN beautiful pilgrimage, but the good news is that your pilgrimage will be supported by exquisite Elegant Processes!

It’s going to be a beautiful journey:)

ekurt
spiritual lesson
CategoriesELEGANT BEAUTY, ELEGANT TRAVEL, MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE, MANIFESTING PROSPERITY, THE MAKING OF A SPIRITUAL WOMAN

The Making of a Spiritual Woman: Video #26 (My BIG Spiritual Lesson)

Dear Diary,

My trip to Italy was incredible! Spaghetti and Tiramisu really DOES taste different there!

I will never forget the evening my friend and I dined under the stars eating spaghetti bolognese and tiramisu while being served by a funny, passionate Italian!

I will cherish this trip for a very long time. What a stunning country full of vivacious life, history, beauty and dark-haired men! LOL!

I just HAD to call Guy and talk though.

I felt ill inside the few days before coming home. I knew he would be open to talking as I had spoken to Sandra and she told me that he was better.

He had finally realised why I had been telling him over and over for two weeks before I left that it was over and I didn’t want to hurt him anymore.

It felt so good to talk with him in a civil way again; with calmness and peace – how we used to.

He told me that I’ve always asked him to understand me, so now he is asking me to try and understand him. He was just in shock at seeing me kiss Emil, so he lost it.

I totally understand that.

He also said, “I don’t think you realise I much I love you.”

We both agreed that we needed each other in our lives and that after we drive Sandra to her new home in Bretagne we would carry on as friends.

Peace at last.

Now…what in the world do I do about this romance with Emil???

Sandra gave me a note that Emil had written for me while I was in Italy. Oh my God. He really, really felt the way he said he did!

He wrote so beautifully and with such heart. I have to admit, I’m in shock!

God, why am I always so in shock when great men like me?

Emil wrote that he loved me, that he wished he could spend every minute with me and that one day at work, the theme song from The Titanic, “My Heart Will Go On” played on the radio and he cried like a baby.

What???? My tender, emotional, gorgeous man felt the same emotions I had been feeling as I stared for hours at the photos of us in the flower fields by my house?

I’ve never felt THIS way before. It’s different than with Guy. This love feels more like the kind you see in a romance novel or movie. With Guy it was…hmmm… also a romance novel or movie, just a different script.

But with Emil, because he was my type, this added factor of attractiveness completely made me swoon and fall deeply, quickly.

I’m going to go to sleep and dream about him.

Dear Diary,

Today Guy and I drove Sandra to her new family in Bretagne. I’m so happy for her as the family seems so down to earth and the home they live in is gorgeous! It’s near to the Sea, so I can picture Sandra spending a lot of time at the beach.

I will miss her so much though.

On the drive home, Guy and I had a lot of time to talk. I opened up and really tried to explain how I believe we weren’t destined to be together forever, but that we were destined to meet each other and share this experience.

He said all the same beautiful things as usual but then the conversation shifted and we began talking about life like friends. Ahhh….this felt right.

At one point he turned to me and said something that hit me right in the heart and was perfect for me to hear in that moment.

He said, “Erin, I have to tell you that the man who you decide to spend the rest of your life with will be the luckiest man on this earth, because you are truly a beautiful person.”

For the first time in my life, I actually felt and believed that yes, I AM a beautiful person and I deserve to be truly loved and appreciated for who I am.

This is a very spiritual time for me right now and I am learning so many beautiful, spiritual lessons.

When I read from Deepak’s book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” I just sob from the absolute truth about how this whole thing called life works…

Dear Diary,
Today I felt like leaving the family – I cannot take the mother anymore!! She is SO off and on with her emotions and the LAST thing I need in my life right now is stress!

I spoke to Guy about all this and he said that he is here for me with whatever decision I make but to make sure that I leave without regrets.

He also added…

“Now is the time to bring your meditation into your life.”

Oooooh, that hit home. This was a powerful spiritual lesson for me.

Being with Guy this year has gifted me more than just love and compassion. He has helped bring me back HOME. Home to my Divinity. Home to where my peace & happiness reside and where I don’t feel the need to always run or react in anger.

I know how to align myself and actually EMBODY the essence of an enlightened being now. Guy was right, now was the time to really bring my meditation into my life.

Join me HERE for the finale of “The Making of a Spiritual Woman” series. Find out what happened with Sandra, Emil and Guy, and how they actually led me to my husband. I came full circle, from sitting on a bench in France telling Guy, “I just want to be happy”, to being on a boat, on the Bosphorus in Istanbul saying….

With so much love,

Erin Kurt

ekurt
train station
CategoriesELEGANT BEAUTY, ELEGANT TRAVEL, MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE, MANIFESTING PROSPERITY, THE MAKING OF A SPIRITUAL WOMAN

The Making of a Spiritual Woman: Video #25 (Train Station Goodbye)

Dear Diary,
Yikes! My brain is cluttered. I just want to take a hot bath with essential oils and have some soft music playing and candles burning…

I’m not able to do this right now, so instead I am choosing to listen to music, sing out loud and DANCE! This always makes me feel better:)

Things are just getting so complicated.

Guy is a wreck and actually making me scared.

Everywhere I am, he turns up! I’m driving, he’s beside me on the road. I’m at the train station, he’s there and wants to talk.

I’m at the movies and I feel his presence and boom! It turns out he was there!

And today, Emil, Sandra, her boyfriend and I were doing errands for my Italy trip and whose there? GUY!

I was paying at the cashier and looked up and there he was.

He said, “I promise I didn’t plan this.”

I’m feeling scared! Who IS this person?

Sandra and I were back at her place and Guy called. He was sobbing and saying he needed to talk. God! It’s April and at this exact time last year I felt exactly the same…

Stressed, overwhelmed, frustrated, pressured. I started to cry, as I just couldn’t hold in all my emotions any more.

I agreed to let Guy come over for 5-10 minutes and what did he show up with? Flowers.

He told me to look at him and tell him it was over and would never be again.

“Regards moi, Erin. Regards moi et dis moi que c’est fini entre nous”. (“Look at me, Erin. Look at me and tell me it’s finished between us”)

I looked straight into his eyes and told him, “Guy, c’est fini.”

Somehow this helped him, so we just sat and talked in a very adult way about how things would be between us from now on.

After he left I felt a HUGE sense of relief. This was not the life I wanted. I needed to be FREE and continue learning who Erin was.

What do I like?

What do I want out of life?

I want to deepen my connection to God/Spirit/ what ever it is.

I WANT that. THAT is what my soul is desiring.

After a while, Emil and Sandra’s boyfriend came over. It felt SO good to have him there – a calm, happy presence.

We had an amazing time laughing and talking and connecting. Emil held my hand and guided me to sit on his lap so he could cuddle me.

We had such easy conversation and all I could think was, “Erin, is this your life?”

“You are with a gorgeous, dark-haired guy who treats you so kindly, so tenderly and is SO into learning about you, your life and your interests. I cannot believe this is your life!”

Dear Diary,
Today I went to Emil’s apartment and we ate lunch, sang songs together, watched a music concert on TV then decided to go for a walk near my house.

He was so excited to experience my world! He looked at all my photos from Canada with such delight and then asked for me to show him my favourite walk by my house.

Oh my goodness…

We walked through fields of flowers and chateaux taking photos, hugging and laughing…a lot!

I felt so loved and cared for. See? Guy isn’t the only man in the world who will treat me right!

Why did I think that? I would have settled if I had stayed with him!

But… I leave for Italy in 2 days – what can ever come of this?

Dear Diary,
Today I head to Italy!!! Guy was kind enough to take me to the dermatologists office to get the prescription for my acne. The doctor says I should notice a difference in a week – oh, I hope so!

Now, the plan was to meet at Emil’s house so I could say good-bye and he could take me to the train station.

I didn’t know what to do because Guy offered to drive me to the train station but I kept saying,

“No, it’s okay. I need to say good-bye to everyone from Prague anyway.”

So, he offered to drop me off there.

I hated this, but didn’t quite know what to say!

Emil and Sandra’s boyfriend were waiting outside for me – uh oh…

As soon as Emil saw me I could tell he was emotional.

Guy drove off and Emil came up to me, put his arm around my shoulders and walked me into the apartment.

Shit, I hope Guy was far enough away that he didn’t see that!

Emil and I spent our last couple of hours talking and kissing in his bedroom. We kept telling each other over and over how much we would miss each other and how sad we were that we met so late.

When I would return from Italy he would be back in Prague. This was a totally intense romance between us.

He asked to keep a picture of me and I could feel how intensely he felt for me when I gave it to him.

Oh God, what is this all about?

We walked to the Boulangerie to buy something for me to eat on the train and couldn’t stop touching eachother. He had to have his hand on my back and I had to be touching his hand – it was like we didn’t want to be disconnected from each other.

He even turned to me and said, “Erin, can you believe that today is one week exactly that we got together?”

What guy remembers those things…and in the middle of a grocery store??

I LOVE this!

We continued on to the train station and I felt a pit in my stomach.

One, because I was going to have to leave Emil and this amazing, new relationship and two, because I felt Guy’s energy somewhere.

I just felt that he was there, but I wasn’t going to ruin this beautiful moment.

Emil and I went to sit on a bench on the train station platform. We faced one another and stared into each other’s eyes while holding hands.

I felt like I was in a movie, a romantic, magical movie, when all of a sudden….

I turned to see Guy charging up the stairs of the train station.

I winced and said, “Guy, pourquoi tu fais ca?” (“Guy, why are you doing this?”)

He spit out, “I looked back in the mirror of my car! I knew this started when we were still together!”

I said, “Non, ce n’est pas vrai!” (“No, it’s not true”)

He stomped away, then turned back around and said to me,

“When you come back, you give me back my knapsack and then that’s it – I don’t want to see you!”

Then he turned to Emil and said, “This doesn’t bother you, hey? You probably like it!”

Emil and I were in shock. He kept saying the F word over and over and over again and told me how sorry he was that I was going to have to come back and deal with all of this by myself.

Wow, I felt so protected by his caring words.

We only had two minutes before my train arrived, so I put Guy out of my mind and just focused on Emil.

Soon the train arrived. We stood up and walked slowly to the carriage.

The door opened, we shared a tender kiss and then as I boarded the train, I felt his hand on my back. Oh, his touch…

The train started pulling away and just like in old movies, he walked alongside the train with his gaze fixated on mine.

As I stared out the window at him, the last thing I remember seeing is him kissing his fingers and raising them up into a peace sign.

I felt like crying because today, I’m leaving a true romance, I’ve hurt and angered someone who has respected and loved me unconditionally, and to top it all off, today, my divorce is legally over. Talk about endings….

So, here I sit, on a train in France, heading to Italy, and even with everything that just transpired a moment ago, I still am having the time of my life.

Join me HERE for the very last post in this series, where I share one of the biggest lessons I learned while in France.

See you tomorrow!

With love,

Erin Kurt

ekurt
beauty
CategoriesELEGANT BEAUTY, ELEGANT TRAVEL, MANIFESTING INNER PEACE, MANIFESTING LOVE & PLEASURE, THE MAKING OF A SPIRITUAL WOMAN

The Making of a Spiritual Woman: Video #24 (The Power of Beauty)

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Wow, 2017 is going to be an exquisite year hear on The Elegant Life Blog!  I cannot wait to share everything I have in store for you!!!

This week finalises the series of “The Making of a Spiritual Woman: A Pilgrimage That Began in Paris” – ready to see how this magical story finishes???  Let’s continue where we left off…me, a dark-haired man and the power of BEAUTY.)

Dear Diary,

The Fair was a display of art from around the world. Emil and I somehow ended up being alone looking at the Bulgaria and Prague displays. After admiring those countries, Emil excitedly searched for anything on Edmonton or Canada. I loved how excited he was to search for it!

One part of the fair was showcasing artistic kitchens! I looked at one kitchen and said, “Oooh, I love that.”

He looked at it and with total sincerity said, “Wow, it’s a beautiful kitchen.” I LOVE how guys are here! They appreciate beauty on a whole different level than North Amercian men do!

We had so much fun tasting foods that were being sampled and looking at all the displays, but I had to go.  Emil asked if we could exchange phone numbers and if we could get together the next day, just me, him, Sandra and her boyfriend.

Oh my god, was he feeling things for me too? I think so!!! There is such a connection between us, an indescribable comfort level.

I wasn’t walking, I was flying!

Yes, THIS is what was missing from Guy. I HAVE to be physically attracted to a guy. All the other things are necesary too, which Guy had, but this is just as important.

I can’t wait to see Emil tomorrow!

Dear Diary,

Today Sandra and I met up with her boyfriend and as soon as he saw me he asid, “Did you talk to Emil today?”

“No, why?” I said.

“He wanted to apologize for how he acted yesterday since he didn’t know you had a boyfriend.”

I replied quickly,”I don’t have a boyfriend.”

(He likes me!!!!)

We went to Sandra’s house and soon after arriving the phone rang. It was Emil. Sandra’s boyfriend grabbed the phone to speak to Emil and I could tell he was sharing with Emil the news that I didn’t have a boyfriend.

All of a sudden, he brought the phone to me…

“There’s someone who wants to talk to you.”

Emil sounded so happy to hear my voice and when I told him we were coming over right away he said with so much enthusiasm, “That’s great!”

When we arrived at Emil’s place his face lit up when he saw me. And then he gave me that warm embrace and kiss on the cheek again.

Seinfeld was on, so we all sat around the TV and laughed for an hour straight.

Ah!!! To listen to my own language again! To interact with a man in my own language.

To be with a sexy, dark-haired man who was kind and genuinely interested in me!!!

Emil and I talked the rest of the night and when I said we have to go he said, “No! It’s still early!”

I did have to go though, so he walked us outside. I said, “Well, hopefully we’ll see eachother again either this week or this weekend.”

He quickly repsonded with, “This week!”

This is so much fun but hey, they leave to go back to Prague in 2 weeks and I leave for Italy in 10 days, so fun is all it’s going to have to be.

Man, I’m already looking forward to seeing him again!

Dear Diary,

I have the worst news to share….Sandra is moving! Her family doesn’t need her anymore, so she is moving to Bretagne. What am I going to do without her???

I tried giving her lots of options on how she can stay here, but in the end she has to do what’s best for her.

Guy called today and wanted to come see me. He brought tulips, soya chocolate dessert, and the Sting CD that I love so much.

I realized right then and there that I cannot abuse my relationship with him. I had to figure this whole situation out. I have to make him understand that it’s over.  He has to really get it this time.

Later that night Emil called and was so happy to hear my voice. He told me he really wants to see me tomorrow.

What does he really want from me?

He’s leaving in 2 weeks! I don’t undestand but I’m just going to enjoy the time we have.

Oh yes, today I made an appointment with the dermatologist. I am committd to getting rid of this acne. Today the cleaning lady took me aside and asked if everything is all right with me.

“Oui. Pourquoi?” I replied.

“You must be allergic to something dear because you have pimples and bumps all over your face.”

acne

And then, later that night, Francois-Clement came to me on the sofa and said, “Erin, what are all those red dots on your face?”

I am actually shocked that I have all these guys telling me how wonderful I am, even with all these huge zits!

Maybe exuding inner beauty IS enough. Hmmm…

JOIN ME HERE for one of the most romantic scenes of my life – it involves a train station, just like a scene from an old movie – there’s also, a gorgeous, elegant lesson for you in here:)

With love,

Erin Kurt

ekurt