Dear Diary,
My trip to Italy was incredible! Spaghetti and Tiramisu really DOES taste different there!
I will never forget the evening my friend and I dined under the stars eating spaghetti bolognese and tiramisu while being served by a funny, passionate Italian!
I will cherish this trip for a very long time. What a stunning country full of vivacious life, history, beauty and dark-haired men! LOL!
I just HAD to call Guy and talk though.
I felt ill inside the few days before coming home. I knew he would be open to talking as I had spoken to Sandra and she told me that he was better.
He had finally realised why I had been telling him over and over for two weeks before I left that it was over and I didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
It felt so good to talk with him in a civil way again; with calmness and peace – how we used to.
He told me that I’ve always asked him to understand me, so now he is asking me to try and understand him. He was just in shock at seeing me kiss Emil, so he lost it.
I totally understand that.
He also said, “I don’t think you realise I much I love you.”
We both agreed that we needed each other in our lives and that after we drive Sandra to her new home in Bretagne we would carry on as friends.
Peace at last.
Now…what in the world do I do about this romance with Emil???
Sandra gave me a note that Emil had written for me while I was in Italy. Oh my God. He really, really felt the way he said he did!
He wrote so beautifully and with such heart. I have to admit, I’m in shock!
God, why am I always so in shock when great men like me?
Emil wrote that he loved me, that he wished he could spend every minute with me and that one day at work, the theme song from The Titanic, “My Heart Will Go On” played on the radio and he cried like a baby.
What???? My tender, emotional, gorgeous man felt the same emotions I had been feeling as I stared for hours at the photos of us in the flower fields by my house?
I’ve never felt THIS way before. It’s different than with Guy. This love feels more like the kind you see in a romance novel or movie. With Guy it was…hmmm… also a romance novel or movie, just a different script.
But with Emil, because he was my type, this added factor of attractiveness completely made me swoon and fall deeply, quickly.
I’m going to go to sleep and dream about him.
Dear Diary,
Today Guy and I drove Sandra to her new family in Bretagne. I’m so happy for her as the family seems so down to earth and the home they live in is gorgeous! It’s near to the Sea, so I can picture Sandra spending a lot of time at the beach.
I will miss her so much though.
On the drive home, Guy and I had a lot of time to talk. I opened up and really tried to explain how I believe we weren’t destined to be together forever, but that we were destined to meet each other and share this experience.
He said all the same beautiful things as usual but then the conversation shifted and we began talking about life like friends. Ahhh….this felt right.
At one point he turned to me and said something that hit me right in the heart and was perfect for me to hear in that moment.
He said, “Erin, I have to tell you that the man who you decide to spend the rest of your life with will be the luckiest man on this earth, because you are truly a beautiful person.”
For the first time in my life, I actually felt and believed that yes, I AM a beautiful person and I deserve to be truly loved and appreciated for who I am.
This is a very spiritual time for me right now and I am learning so many beautiful, spiritual lessons.
When I read from Deepak’s book, “The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success” I just sob from the absolute truth about how this whole thing called life works…
Dear Diary,
Today I felt like leaving the family – I cannot take the mother anymore!! She is SO off and on with her emotions and the LAST thing I need in my life right now is stress!
I spoke to Guy about all this and he said that he is here for me with whatever decision I make but to make sure that I leave without regrets.
He also added…
“Now is the time to bring your meditation into your life.”
Oooooh, that hit home. This was a powerful spiritual lesson for me.
Being with Guy this year has gifted me more than just love and compassion. He has helped bring me back HOME. Home to my Divinity. Home to where my peace & happiness reside and where I don’t feel the need to always run or react in anger.
I know how to align myself and actually EMBODY the essence of an enlightened being now. Guy was right, now was the time to really bring my meditation into my life.
Join me HERE for the finale of “The Making of a Spiritual Woman” series. Find out what happened with Sandra, Emil and Guy, and how they actually led me to my husband. I came full circle, from sitting on a bench in France telling Guy, “I just want to be happy”, to being on a boat, on the Bosphorus in Istanbul saying….
With so much love,
