Dear Diary,
Was he SERIOUS???
How in the world, after all we’ve shared with each other, after all the confession sessions after work, after the POEM he wrote me!
He had the gall to invite me to a scavenger hunt he and his girlfriend were hosting????
I was furious!
I ignored Matt the whole next day and he knew something was up, so he came to ask me if something was wrong.
I told him to just stop. Stop talking to me, stop flirting with me, stop everything until he’s figured out what he wants.
I said, “I can’t keep having these roller coaster of emotions. One day you’re into me and the next day you’re confused. Just figure your life out and I’ll go on with my life.”
The next day he didn’t talk to me, come around, or even acknowledge me at lunch time in the staff room.
I guess he was taking me seriously!
I felt like a part of me was missing. I went home that night totally depressed. Had I completely messed up? Should I have stayed with David and given him another chance? He was just so scared he was losing me, that’s why he broke the door down.
I began feeling like I’d completely messed up my life.
The next morning Matt had to give me something school related . He was ULTRA professional; it almost seemed as if he was angry at me!
At recess I went to his office and he told me that not speaking to me was so hard on him. My heart melted. He DID care!
I totally agreed and told him how I felt a piece of me was missing.. The rest of the week was back to normal. We flirted, had fun, and he was coming to my room again. YEAH!!!
LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL! (How quickly emotions can change!)
On Friday, the school had a really fun day planned. It was all about fitness, so as a school, we all did an aeorbics class! Matt did it beside me and he kept complimenting me on my legs – THAT was new! No one had ever done that!
I did notice him hanging around the instructor afterwards though….
Another teacher noticed too and later she told me that at lunch she was bugging Matt about how interested he was in chatting with the instructor afterwards and how pretty she was and he said,
“Yeah I got her number. She had a great body!”
My stomach fell, my heart fell. What the HELL was going on??
I thought he was different. I knew he was flirty, but now everything is piecing together and I’m fed up!
I am totally going to move on with Tony AND spend time with MYSELF and my friends!
I really can’t be with someone who has this quality.
I feel so strong right now. YES! It’s time for Erin to stand up and be HERSELF now!
I am going to focus on myself!
I spent the next week singing with the guys, dancing to the Gyspy Kings,(among other things with Tony) and feeling absolutely in LOVE with my freedom and my life.
Then, at the end of the week I heard that Matt moved out and ended things with his girlfriend…
I’m curious! What would YOU have done at this point? Drop him? Ignore him? Get excited that we could move on together now? Share your thoughts and comments below:))
Join me HERE for the next installment of this Series. You are never going to guess what Matt does! Mark your calendars, Ladies!
Love,
2 Comments
Are we twins separated at birth, by any chance? lol! I am also so “understanding” with these guys who seem so wonderful but turn out to be jerks who are “not ready” or whatever today’s excuse is.
I was also abused as a young child and it certainly DOES affect you in all kinds of ways, including how you value yourself. I didn’t really discover that until many years later.
I totally agree with your Dad, by the way. If a man REALLY wants to be with you, HE will do it all – you don’t need to twist yourself into a pretzel to accommodate him. That’s a lesson I’m still learning!
YES! The similarities are unbelievable….even the fact that you used that question! I use that phrase with people I share such a similar life story with – “Are we twins separated at birth?”. I’m so happy to have connected here! How did you find the blog?